To make this mixed batch of caramel apples, I used this recipe from Chow, substituting soy cream and Earth Balance for the cream and butter, and brown rice syrup for corn syrup (I just couldn't bring myself to buy a bottle of liquid diabetes). With all those substitutions, I was worried they would taste like hippie caramel apples, but they're every bit as chewy and sweet as the classic. They came together more quickly than I expected, though my caramel took 20 minutes to reach 250 degrees instead of the 10 indicated in the recipe. I will definitely use this caramel in the future to smother otherwise healthy food.
The best part of eating caramel apples (besides the stick) is the meeting of super-sweet caramel and tart fruit. After the first bite, apple juice drips behind and begins to melt the caramel, creating a sweet, sour, sticky mess. If the caramel doesn't pull your teeth out, it will surely rot them away: this is the true spirit of Halloween.